LILT: First Draft of Rein Raus

You can see the original German lyrics and the English translation here. What follows is early work from me:

REIN RAUS v.1.0 (copyright ©2009 Camilla Koutsos)

I am the rider
You are my mount
Once I'm on you
We keep the count
You tap the fount
You moan
I soothe you
Rampaging beast through a tiny tube

Rein Raus

I am the hunter
You are my prey
I had you running
You're now at bay
You hit the wall
I go straight through
Everything's good when I open you

Rein Raus

Deeper, deeper
Shout it! Shout for more!
Deeper, deeper
I'm there pounding, and hit your core
And the thunderous beasts all roar

I'm finished now
Apologies
I dismount
Have to leave
There are others that I must run
They're all part of my eternal hunt

Rein raus

Rein (deeper)
Raus (deeper)

[discuss]

I'm not happy with this. There are rhythmic hacks in there that don't flatter me, so keep in mind that this draft is a work-in-progress.

Update 1340hrs: struck line four and added replacement.