LILTday Looming

March 16 (NZT) is LILT's birthday. It will be two years old. Two years and I'm almost out of adaptable songs. I've completed almost 50, with five in the pipe, and I reckon there are two, maybe three left from their current catalogue. If I really wrestle some verbage into submission I may get a grand total of 60 LILTs. That upcoming 'Best of' thing had better have some new material, or I shall have to resort to...something.

LILT: Mehr 1.0

As always, there are issues, but I'm pleased with the first draft:

I need so many
And such a lot
And all for me
All for me

Everything
That one desires
I'll have
again ten times

I'm never sated
I'm never sated
It is better
To have more

More, more...

What I do have
Is never enough
I need a deal
I need a great deal

I've nought to give up
Why would I give?
Sure, I am rich, not rich enough.
My modesty? It's not so bad.
I'll have it all please,
All there is to have.

I'm never sated
I'm never sated
It is better
To have more

More, more, more...
Much more.

I'm never content
There's no nonesuch
There's no enough
Never too much

All the others, they hit their limit.
Give me theirs also
They do not need it!

I'm never content
There's no nonesuch
There's no enough
Never too much

All the others, they hit their limit.
Give me theirs also
They do not need it!

I'm never content
There's no nonesuch
There's no enough
Never too much

All the others, they hit their limit.
Give me theirs also
They do not need it!

I'm never content
There's no nonesuch
There's no enough
Never too much

All the others, they hit their limit.

I need much more!
More
More
Much more
Then more

For those wondering, I've stripped out Till's meaning and put in nonesuch in a self-referential way, nonesuch meaning the ideal, or the model man, i.e. the singer is saying he's not perfect. I wanted to keep the rhyme with the final 'too much' and retaining the meaning of the second line made that impossible. I could have taken too much out and used something else, but I like too much.

LILT: Waidmanns Heil 1.1

Yeah, already. If you're new to this site, I tend to find fault only after I post a piece:

I feel I've been in heat for days
So I'll track down some female game
And I'll camp in the hide till dawn
So I can take my time to aim

On the land under the sky
Decay is standing by
The living quarry must die
Must die

A yearling hind gets to its feet
It's been sunning in the high reeds
It's leaving clear spore through the trees
I see rump flash and I feel heat

The tail whips past like it should crack
My shotgun swings 'round from on my back
Waidmanns, -manns, -manns, -manns Heil
I brush the velvet from the horn
And set my sights upon its form
Waidmanns, -manns, -manns, -manns Heil
On the land under the sky
Decay is standing by
The living quarry must die
Waidmanns, -manns, manns, manns Heil
Must die
Waidmanns, -manns, manns, manns Heil

It bears the muzzle energy
Misted blood drifts past its knee
On the land under the sky
Decay is standing by
The living quarry must die
Waidmanns, -manns, -manns, -manns Heil
Must die
Waidmanns, -manns, manns, manns Heil
On the land under the sky
Decay is standing by
Waidmanns, -manns, manns, manns Heil
On the land and on the sea

Waidmanns, -manns, manns, manns Heil

The 'and on the sea' bit just bugs me. 'Under the sky' works much better, both verbally and visually.

[original lyrics & translation]

LILT: Waidmanns Heil 1.0

It's been a while since I wrote English lyrics for a Rammstein song, so I may be a little shaky. Bear with me, and please treat the end words of the first two lines as loooong (covering two of Till's syllables). I really can't see any other way to deal with these two lines, without writing seriously bad English, which I prefer not to do:

I feel I've been in heat for days
So I'll track down some female game
And I'll camp in the hide till dawn
So I can take my time to aim

On the land and on the sea
Decay is standing by
The living quarry must die
Must die

A yearling hind gets to its feet
It's been sunning in the high reeds
It's leaving clear spore through the trees
I see rump flash and I feel heat

The tail whips past like it should crack
My shotgun swings 'round from on my back
Waidmanns, -manns, -manns, -manns Heil
I brush the velvet from the horn
And set my sights upon its form
Waidmanns, -manns, -manns, -manns Heil
On the land and on the sea
Decay is standing by
The living quarry must die
Waidmanns, -manns, manns, manns Heil
Must die
Waidmanns, -manns, manns, manns Heil

It bears the muzzle energy
Misted blood drifts past its knee
On the land and on the sea
Decay is standing by
The living quarry must die
Waidmanns, -manns, -manns, -manns Heil
Must die
Waidmanns, -manns, manns, manns Heil
On the land and on the sea
Decay is standing by
Waidmanns, -manns, manns, manns Heil
On the land and on the sea

Waidmanns, -manns, manns, manns Heil

[original lyrics & translation]

Lyrics

I'm feeling my creativity quickening. You know, the basis on which this site was founded. I'm planning to get back to LILTing, but I've also had little sparks of original verse bursting through the medicated haze (which I, very stupidly, haven't been writing down), so I will also be resurrecting lyrics.LILT.me. If you're interested in poetry, creative processes, lyrics, or just general creative writing, you might enjoy it. If you're just here for Rammstein news and such then stick with LILT only.

LILT: Roter Sand 1.1

Okay, trying again:

For one love with one heartfelt vow
I said I'll come back to you
With sorrow I break my word now
As his bullet has got through

For one love our two pistols duel
One is levelling on me
He says that it is me who stole you
You love me yet
He can't see

Red sand and of two cartridges
One dies in a powdered mess
The second unerring round is his
And lodged deep within my chest

For one love and one heartfelt vow
So much blood runs from my mouth
And I won't be avenged now
Senseless, I fall to the ground

For one love with two pistols aimed
One was much more quickly drawn
Regrettably it was not mine
You belong to him

Red sand and of two cartridges
One dies in a powdered mess
The second unerring round is his
And lodged deep within my chest

Red sand and white doves attending
Feeding themselves on my blood
In the end there must be an ending
So my life has served some good

Red sand and of two cartridges
One dies in a powdered mess
The second unerring round is his
And lodged deep within my chest

LILT: Bückstabü 1.2

Soon night will fall
We are alone
You need not
Need not be so down
Voices whisper from between the ears
They are saying (they are saying)
Don't you dare
Must forego
Do not touch there
Just say hell no
Bückstabü
This I'll get
Bückstabü
This I'll get

Don't be afraid
Since I am here
As you know
I am oh-so near
Voices whisper from between the ears
They are saying
Don't you dare
Must forego
Do not touch there
Just say hell no
Bückstabü
This I'll get
Bückstabü
This I'll get

Two souls, oh, they are in my loins
But only one of them can survive
The first time will not hurt at all
There will not be a second time

Bückstabü
Don't you dare
Bückstabü
You must forego
Bückstabü
Do not touch there
Bückstabü
Just say no
Bückstabü
This I'll get
Bückstabü
This I'll get

[lyrics]

LILT: Roter Sand 1.0

A sad song, and possibly a bad LILT. I'm feeling a bit twitchy about it, because rhythmically it's a bit of a dog. Go English, you suck:

For one love with one commitment
I said I'll come back to you
But I must with sorrow break it
As his bullet has got through

For one love and two pistols too
One that's pointing right at me
He says that it is me who stole you
You love me but
He can't see

Red sand and of two cartridges
One dies in a powdered mess
The second unerring round is his
It's lodged deep within my chest

For one love and one commitment
So much blood runs from my mouth
And I'm not to be avenged
Senseless, I fall to the ground

For one love with two pistols aimed
One was much more quickly drawn
Regettably it was not mine
You belong to him

Red sand and of two cartridges
One dies in a powdered mess
The second unerring round is his
It's lodged deep within my chest

Red sand and white doves are flying
Feeding themselves on my blood
In the end there must be an ending
So my life has served some good

Red sand and of two cartridges
One dies in a powdered mess
The second unerring round is his
It's lodged deep within my chest

Blood & Dust

I've begun work on Roter Sand, and it makes me sad. The song still has the same emotive effect on me that it did before I learned what the lyrics mean. I wrote this in my 'blind' review last year:

To me it sounds like Till's telling a story that hurts like hell in the recounting, but that simply must be told. Imagine to yourself a battle-scarred, drunk veteran remembering his awful career, and you'll probably get the idea of what I'm hearing. This song is a wrench.

The chorus is pretty. It sounds like agony, but is lovely and almost 'anthemic', with the whistling always coming back in as a link to the next verse. The song is one to listen to while feeling maudlin and nostalgic. There's plenty of inspiration for the little weeper in us all.

It's incredible how different Liese, which is now on the 'done' pile*, feels to Roter Sand, given the music is pretty much the same. Here's my blind take on that:

The lyrics are somehow fuller and more fleshy (I get the impression more is said, for some reason), and Till has thrown in a hefty dose of menace, and a smudge of lasciviousness (the only sex on the bonus disc) too. The blatant sorrow of Roter Sand doesn't surface at all, despite the music being identical. A much more sinister film coats Liese and I love it. While I have no doubt that Roter Sand was more in keeping with the album's flow, I consider Liese to be lyrically/vocally much meatier, and I'm really glad they tagged it onto the bonus disc.

More than half of the meat is in the operatics of Till, but a huge amount of the texture comes from the lyrics. I don't just mean the meaning. The verbal choices he has made impact the vibe of the song. It's an interesting experiment in poetry.

I wonder if he wrote other lyrics for this music...

* How long that will last?

LILT: Liese 3.0

Promoted without change:

Sunday out in Ammerwiese
Liese bravely minds the geese there
Then comes Jacob with long strides
Holding his sickle at his side

He nudges now and then with this
At Liese under skirt and bodice
He wants to sample her by forcing
And while he probes her he's singing...

Lovely Liese, leave the geese here
I want to have a taste of your skin
My scythe will be blood-rusted I fear
If you are not welcoming

So Jacob thinks to lick young Liese
Her pear taste will be so pleasing
So many small hairs stand on end
They run to a wheat-filled glen

In the flood of gold, well veiled
Jacob bestrides the youthful maid
And holds her close until the evening
Against her skin he again sings...

Lovely Liese, leave the geese here
I want to have a taste of your skin
My scythe will be blood-rusted I fear
If you are not welcoming

Lovely Liese, leave the geese here
I want to have a taste of your skin
My scythe will be blood-rusted I fear
If you are not welcoming

[original lyrics & translation]

LILT: Haifisch 3.0

Promoted without change:

We hold with each other
We all take each other's crap
We hold to one another
None will hold us back

We're holding true to you all
We hold onto that vow
We will uphold all the rules
If our rule is allowed

And the shark weeps very real tears
And they're running down its face
But the shark lives in the water
So nobody sees a trace

We hold to the tempo
We hold true in good faith
When one does not keep up
We hold up right away

We're holding our eyes open
We hold against the storm
Six hearts that are burning
Our fire holds such warmth

And the shark weeps very real tears
And they're running down its face
But the shark lives in the water
So nobody sees a trace

In the depths it is so lonesome
And so many tears run free
And that is how it has happened
That it's salty in the sea

They hold beliefs they want
To hold about us all
We hold each other sound
We never will hold still

And the shark weeps very real tears
And they're running down its face
But the shark lives in the water
So nobody sees a trace

In the depths it is so lonesome
And so many tears run free
And that is how it has happened
That it's salty in the sea

And the shark weeps very real tears
And they're running down its face
But the shark lives in the water
So nobody sees a trace

[original lyrics & translation]

LILT: Bückstabü 1.1

I'm not sure if this is an improvement or not. Tough nut to crack:

Soon night will fall
We are alone
You need not
Need not be so down
Voices whisper from between the ears
They are saying (they are saying)
Don't you dare
Leave it be
Do not touch there
Just say to me
Bückstabü
This I'll get
Bückstabü
This I'll get

Don't be afraid
Since I am here
As you know
I am oh-so near
Voices whisper from between the ears
They are saying
Don't you dare
Leave it be
Do not touch there
Just say to me
Bückstabü
This I'll get
Bückstabü
This I'll get

Two souls, oh, they are in my loins
But only one of them can survive
The first time will not hurt at all
There will not be a second time

Bückstabü
Don't you dare
Bückstabü
Leave it be
Bückstabü
Do not touch there
Bückstabü
Voice the plea
Bückstabü
This I'll get
Bückstabü
This I'll get

[lyrics]

Halleluja Response

The response to the video post to the Rammstein FB page has been interesting. The majority of reactions to the English lyrics have been critical of the inaccuracy, i.e. my adaption is not a verbatim translation. This is a given, since my goal is to produce working English lyrics, rather than a literal translation. I don't speak German. I leave that to the Jeremy Williamses of this world. Jeremy speaks German like a native, and has a solid grasp of attractive English prose, so his translations are very elegant, and come with useful notes where English falls down. He's most definitely the guy you go to for Rammstein translations.

I, on the other hand, am a poet. I make every effort to be faithful to Till's intent where it is apparent, and to his words where it isn't. I try to inject as much clever word-play and subtle or unsubtle humour (where appropriate) as I can. I also have the singer foremost in my mind at all times. If someone were to perform Rammstein's songs with my lyrics in place of Till's the idea is that they could ride Till's rhythmic and rhymic rails with my words, and it should work, musically. If that means a shift in the actual wording then so be it. I am not trying to mirror the man's work verbally at the expense of usability. I am writing English lyrics.

I think part of the problem is also that Soeren, who made the video, has replaced some of my lines with more accurate translations, so it's a mixture of literal but rhythmically dissonant lines, and my texturally correct but verbally shifted English lyrics. This inconsistency is probably a little confusing to the uninitiated. Why use the shifted English lyrics at all when you can translate it literally? Or why use the literal translation when you have English lyrics that fit the music?

I'm not sure what his reasoning was for mixing it up, but I think either way the video is effective and fun.

Another response has been a pretty serious up-turn in German traffic to LILT. I am not sure why. Most of my readers have been from the US until last week. Now suddenly up to 50 % of my traffic has come from Germany. I can only assume that the official FB page attracts domestic fans more than my usual referrers.

Anyway, if you're from Germany and reading this please forgive me the liberties I have taken with Till's German lyrics. In order for me to do what I aim to do it is entirely necessary, and by no means reflects badly on the original German lyrics. My appreciation for Till's German lyrics is what drives me to do this in the first place.

The less said about his English lyrics the better...

LILT: Bückstabü 1.0

This one is tricky, because the German is very concise. Goddamn, English is clumsy:

Soon night will fall
We are alone
You need not
Need not be so down
The voices whisper in behind the face
They are saying (they are saying)
Don't be base
Leave it be
Do not touch there
Just count to three
Bückstabü
This I'll get
Bückstabü
This I'll get

Don't be afraid
Since I am here
As you know
I am really near
The voices whisper in behind the face
They are saying
Don't be base
Leave it be
Do not touch there
Just count to three
Bückstabü
This I'll get
Bückstabü
This I'll get

Two souls, oh, they're in my loins
But only one of them can remain
The first time will not hurt at all
There will not be a second time

Bückstabü
Don't be base
Bückstabü
Leave it be
Bückstabü
Do not touch there
Bückstabü
Just count to
Bückstabü
This I'll get
Bückstabü
This I'll get

[lyrics]

Update: Holy shit! That's 50 songs...

LILT: Donaukinder 3.0

I'm not sure if I'm being horribly arrogant, or if I really have nailed this song down so quickly, but I'm happy with it, even the verse I switched Till's rhyming formula around on:

Danube bleeds from headwaters
Where peace and suffering thaw
No good can now be supported
There in her marshy sward

No one knows what's happened here
The floods are rusty red
The fishes could not draw a breath
And all the swans are dead

In the river's former verdure
The animals fell ill
To the stream from the pasture
Was drifting an awful smell

Where are the children?
None knew what was happening
No one has seen anything
Where are the children?
No one has seen anything

Mothers stood there by the stream
And they wept forth a flood
In the fields and through the wiers
Grew their sorrow all through the mud

Black flags hanging through the town
Rats grew fatter by the day
The wells were poisoned all around
And the people moved away

Where are the children?
None knew what was happening
No one has seen anything
Where are the children?
No one has seen anything

Danube bleeds from headwaters
Where peace and suffering thaw
No good can now be supported
There in her marshy sward

Where are the children?
None knew what was happening
No one has seen anything
Where are the children?
No one has seen anything

[original lyrics & translation]

LILT: Spieluhr 3.0

I almost scrapped this one today, but I've decided to simply stop work on it, this it is promoted:

A tiny soul seems to have gone
But it just wants to be alone
Its little heart stood still for ages
Till all thought it had earned death's wages
So they inter it in wet sand
A music box still in its hand

First snow blankets the little grave
The small child slowly awakes
The winter night is very cold
And the tiny heart is bold

As frost flies all through the child
The musical box clockwork winds
With a melody on wings
From the cold ground a child sings

Hoppe hoppe Reiter
Down from high no angel sweeps
mein Herz schlägt nicht mehr weiter
On this grave only rain weeps
hoppe hoppe Reiter
With a melody on wings
mein Herz schlägt nicht mehr weiter
From the cold ground a child sings

The chilly moon while in full flight
Hears the crying in the night
Down from high no angel sweeps
On this grave only rain weeps

Between the cold hard oaken stays
With the musical box it plays
With a melody on wings
From the cold ground a child sings

Hoppe hoppe Reiter
Down from high no angel sweeps
mein Herz schlägt nicht mehr weiter
On this grave only rain weeps
hoppe hoppe Reiter
With a melody on wings
mein Herz schlägt nicht mehr weiter
From the cold ground a child sings

Hoppe hoppe Reiter
mein Herz schlägt nicht mehr weiter

They could hear on All Souls' Day
The melody in God's field played
So then they disinterred it
The child's heart, they preserved it

Hoppe hoppe Reiter
Down from high no angel sweeps
mein Herz schlägt nicht mehr weiter
On this grave only rain weeps
hoppe hoppe Reiter
With a melody on wings
mein Herz schlägt nicht mehr weiter
From the cold ground a child sings

[lyrics]

LILT: Mein Teil 2.0

So much beauty and elegance:

Today I will meet a man
Who would eat me as he can
Soft and hard parts, from front and rear
Are on today's new bill of fare

Since you are what you eat
You well know what this is

This is my part – no
My part – no
That there is my part – no
My part – no

A really dull blade fits the bill
I'm bleeding hard and feeling ill
I am struggling to stay awake and
I keep on eating as I'm shaking

It's just so well-seasoned
And nicely flambéed
Then on porcelain so lovingly displayed
And a good wine with it
Served up and candlelit
Yeah, I should take it slow
You need culture you know

Since you are what you eat
You well know what this is

This is my part – no
My part – no
That there is my part – no
Yes it's my part – no

A cry will to heaven ascend
And through hosts of angels rend
Then their feathered flesh will careen
Into my lasting childhood screams

This is my part – no
My part – no
That there is my part – no
My part – no

This is my part – no
My part – no
That there is my part – no
Yes it's my part – no

[lyrics]

LILT: Liese 2.0

My friend in Berlin has given me some tips about this one, so I've developed it further, and am feeling pretty good about the changes:

Sunday out in Ammerwiese
Liese bravely minds the geese there
Then comes Jacob with long strides
Holding his sickle at his side

He nudges now and then with this
At Liese under skirt and bodice
He wants to sample her by forcing
And while he probes her he's singing...

Lovely Liese, leave the geese here
I want to have a taste of your skin
My scythe will be blood-rusted I fear
If you are not welcoming

So Jacob thinks to lick young Liese
Her pear taste will be so pleasing
So many small hairs stand on end
They run to a wheat-filled glen

In the flood of gold, well veiled
Jacob bestrides the youthful maid
And holds her close until the evening
Against her skin he again sings...

Lovely Liese, leave the geese here
I want to have a taste of your skin
My scythe will be blood-rusted I fear
If you are not welcoming

Lovely Liese, leave the geese here
I want to have a taste of your skin
My scythe will be blood-rusted I fear
If you are not welcoming

[original lyrics & translation]

Thanks, F! <3

LILT: Haifisch 2.2

I told you not to hold me to it:

We hold with each other
We all take each other's crap
We hold to one another
None will hold us back

We're holding true to you all
We hold onto that vow
We will uphold all the rules
If our rule is allowed

And the shark weeps very real tears
And they're running down its face
But the shark lives in the water
So nobody sees a trace

We hold to the tempo
We hold true in good faith
When one does not keep up
We hold up right away

We're holding our eyes open
We hold against the storm
Six hearts that are burning
Our fire holds such warmth

And the shark weeps very real tears
And they're running down its face
But the shark lives in the water
So nobody sees a trace

In the depths it is so lonesome
And so many tears run free
And that is how it has happened
That it's salty in the sea

They hold beliefs they want
To hold about us all
We hold each other sound
We never will hold still

And the shark weeps very real tears
And they're running down its face
But the shark lives in the water
So nobody sees a trace

In the depths it is so lonesome
And so many tears run free
And that is how it has happened
That it's salty in the sea

And the shark weeps very real tears
And they're running down its face
But the shark lives in the water
So nobody sees a trace

[original lyrics & translation]

LILT: Donaukinder 1.1

I've switched the rhyming formula in the black flags verse to match the rest of the song, but I'm not entirely certain it works, so that change is on probation:

Danube bleeds from headwaters
Where peace and suffering thaw
No good can now be supported
There in her marshy sward

No one knows what's happened here
The floods are rusty red
The fishes could not draw a breath
And all the swans are dead

In the river's former verdure
The animals fell ill
To the stream from the pasture
Was drifting an awful smell

Where are the children?
None knew what was happening
No one has seen anything
Where are the children?
No one has seen anything

Mothers stood there by the stream
And they wept forth a flood
In the fields and through the wiers
Grew their sorrow all through the mud

Black flags hanging through the town
Rats grew fatter by the day
The wells were poisoned all around
And the people moved away

Where are the children?
None knew what was happening
No one has seen anything
Where are the children?
No one has seen anything

Danube bleeds from headwaters
Where peace and suffering thaw
No good can now be supported
There in her marshy sward

Where are the children?
None knew what was happening
No one has seen anything
Where are the children?
No one has seen anything

[original lyrics & translation]