I'm got a somewhat embryonic draft of verse one down. There's a lot to get across, so this is a good challenge:
Her breaststroke's beauty to behold
It lets me see into her soul
I'm overtaken by her allure
I pursue a longed-for overture
From her loin comes a great heat
It's explosive and then retreats
Fire and water can never be one
There's no fusion, they will not succumb
I have to shiver and seethe all alone
And in the water I'm burned
In the water I'm burned
Wet skin's a beauty to behold
It vows to swallow and enfold
As her long legs move apart
The darkest cavern of her heart
Reveals to me her shadowed fire
An icy abyss for my desire
She glides by me without a glance
I'm shadow to her light, without a chance
I have no hope left and should have done, as
Fire and water can never be one
There's no fusion, they will not succumb
I have to shiver and seethe all alone
And in the water I'm burned
In the water I'm burned
[discuss]
Changes to this are inevitable, but it's a start. More verses to come...
Update 1057hrs: Added a second verse. This is all loaded with euphemisms. I'm sure you can tell ;)
Update 1132hrs: and another bit...
Sorry about the piecemeal post. I wanted all the parts I'd written to gether, so just kept adding to this.
ReplyDeleteWow -- this' great. F&W is one of my favorite R+ songs, and you've definitely captured the flavor of the song here. Well done!
ReplyDelete