I've made some pretty major changes, including standardising the rhyming formula across the whole song. Till has varied the rhyming order from verse to verse. My English adaption works better with an AABB rhythm across the board, so I've shuffled lines within each verse. I also think it may be finished:
Embracing as one they stand
Where land and sea meet to hold hands
One being since their lost youth
She wants to tell him the cruel truth
But her words tear in the wind
Trembling she takes his warm hand
And she kisses his broad brow
And the sea will not lie down
Deep in her breast blooms darkest night
She lies her tired head on his thigh
As she will soon face the abyss
She asks him for one last, sweet kiss
And then he gives her her kiss
Her soft lips pale as mist
His eyes, dimming, become drowned
And the sea seems to lie down
That last kiss is
So far away
That last kiss was...
The memories decay
When I hear this song I see an autumnal beach on a grey, gusty day, with an older couple clinging together while dealing with a very sad situation. I see rough seas, with spray blowing from the crests of the waves, creating a cold, wet mist. It's a tragedy. I find the couple uplifting and encouraging though. They've had a lifetime of being joined as a single entity, and only later in life do they have to face its loss.
[lyrics][discuss]
No comments:
Post a Comment