In my dream I was in a Russian town. There were a few things that were skew-whiff. Firstly, the town looked distinctly Western European. It looked nothing like the pictures I've seen of Russia. I've never been to Russia, but I was familiar with it and absolutely at home there. Half the population appeared to be of African descent. Everyone was speaking English. Now, all of those aspects of the dream (as reality goes) are very odd, but in my dream they were all 'right'. There was nothing that made me think 'this is wrong'. Fine, that's how dreams work.
Further, Rammstein were in this town to announce their Russian tour dates to the world. That's daft, but in my dream it seemed utterly feasible and I didn't remark it. Fine. It's a dream, so that's okay.
After the announcement and press questions the band were ushered off the stage set up in the square, and disappeared, then out of nowhere Herr Lindemann was standing right in front of me. That's okay. It's a dream, so the idea of one of the stars of the show just wandering in the crowd makes sense. Not a problem.
He took me to a pub on the outskirts of the town and we sat down with beers, and talked, and that wasn't strange at all. Good.
What really destroyed the illusion of normality was his sudden, late-in-the-piece smile. His teeth were wrong. It completely tilted my world (no pun intended). I was creepy as hell and turned a perfectly good dream into a shit-churning nightmare. I woke up adrenalised and highly disturbed.
Why?
Dreams are self-smoothing. They heal their own tears and twists. The weirdness and surreal elements are rendered normal and banal. The teeth being wrong completely threw me for a loop though. Is it because teeth are such a fundamental part of our facial vocabulary? Why didn't my brain filter that into the realm of the ordinary? I have no idea, but it was a complete mind-fuck, and I don't care to repeat that.
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