On a Lighter Note...

Cookie: Pussy, parodied, badly:



Well, not so badly done, musically. The lyrics could have been much more amusing with a little thought.

I guess it had to be done.

On the Subject of Germany...

TheGauntlet tweeted this mad link today (sound required).

DISCLAIMER: If you're a bit sensitive about the events in the first half of last century you might want to give it a miss (and I have to wonder why you're even reading a site celebrating a pack of Germans), but I think this exactly the sort of levity that is needed. Everyone needs to accept that Germany is now peopled by a nation of new human beings, many of whom are still feeling the need to apologise to the world, despite having had nothing to do with past events, and feel an unwarranted sense of guilt for the crimes of their forebears. Rammstein, for example, is made up entirely of people who did not exist when Nazi Germany collapsed. Celebrate Germany's successes and contributions, mourn the victims of past conflicts, and move on, I say.

Here endeth the rant.

Serious Disappointment

Bloody whinging poms. They should be grateful for every match and every sparkler:

As the show went on, the group’s usual pyrotechnics were scaled down significantly. At the end of their famous song “ich werde lieber ein loch in mein Kopf haben”, guitarist Paul Landers put his guitar down, walked to the edge of the stage, and proceeded to light some Swan Vesta matches one after the other, placing them carefully on a saucer to ensure that the fire didn’t spread..

“At least they were extra large,” he told reporters afterwards. “Management wanted us to cut down from Swan Vesta matches to those really tiny ones that just fall apart the minute you strike them. I mean – it’s a far cry from the days where I wore exploding pants and had to have my groin operated on after every gig – but Health & Safety regulations count for something too, you know. So we’re being practical, we’re being safe, and we’re saving money.”

Morality Head Should Get His Head Read?

I suggested incarceration for Cherginets as possible measure against the promised rape and pillage if Rammstein's show went ahead, but I've been one-upped by a Belrusian blogger, Yauhen Lipkovich, who wrote an open letter to the 'Last dictator in Europe':

...My wife and I can’t keep silence. My wife didn’t sleep at night and asked me to write a letter in the morning.

Dear Mr Alyaksandr,

The actions by Mikalai Charhinets have disgraced honour and dignity of our country, slandered our governmental bodies. We think you should point out inadmissibility of such statements, which may implant doubt of strength and power of our state system.

My wife and I think you should offer Charhinets medical examination in a special medical institution of the Republic of Belarus and propose him to resign from the post of head of the Union of Writers of the Republic of Belarus...

Wow.

Read the whole saga here.

Minsk Update

Rammchick has found a new post regarding the Belarus story. It would seem that the promoter for the Minsk show has done his homework, though why he would only now be investigating the show's content I can't fathom.

We have read a lot about the corrupting force that is Rammstein, and the deleterious super-powers they apparently have, so a leavening dose of rational thought is nice, but I can't help but see the humour in this situation. Imagine a mind that considers a band, performing to a small slice of the population, being considered influential enough to cause a crime-wave. Now imagine the owner of that mind in a mosh-pit, surrounded by adrenalised, mesmerised Rammstein fans. Laughing?

I will not be entirely reassured until the show is done and dusted, because the promoter's reassurance and the politicos' response are not by any means the same thing, but this is a positive step, at least, after hearing so much from the humourless prigs who oppose Rammstein. Now we need for the Morality Council to send one of their own to a show, to see for themselves what is on offer. I'm sure Till pouring 'molten metal' onto Flake so he emerges a sparkling butterfly, setting fire to a 'fan', and spraying the audience with mega-spunk will be a most refreshing change for them...

LILT: Zerstören 3.1

I look after my own turf
But break down yours to rock and dirt
Consuming, entombing
Defacing, and wasting
From inside me a great greed sings
I feel the need to manage things
I'm the destroyer
So much effort just for you
I'm the destroyer
So much effort just for you

Mine!

I want to break all that you've built
I tear it down and don't feel guilt
I'm stripping, and ripping
I'm spitting, and kicking
My discipline ought to impress
I aim to cause that much distress
I'm wrecking, dissecting, rejecting
Destroying
So much effort just for you
I'm the destroyer
So much effort just for you

Mine!

All this drive is inside me
I am on a wrecking spree
In me there is a better side
but he's along for the ride
I'm the destroyer
So much effort just for you
I'm the destroyer
So much effort just for you

Mine!

I'm ripping, and stripping
I'm taking, and breaking
I'm tearing, and searing
I'm wrecking, dissecting
I'm crashing, and smashing
And rending, and bending
Defacing, and wasting
I'm kicking, and spitting

Er traf ein Mädchen, das war blind
Geteiltes Leid und gleichgesinnt
Sah einen Stern vom Himmel gehen
Und wünschte sich sie könnte sehn

Sie hat die Augen aufgemacht
Verließ ihn noch zur selben Nacht


[lyrics][discuss]

Blonde Moment

Right now I'm in a completely daft mood, and am working on my first draft of Reise Reise. I got to the first chorus and found myself typing as follows:

Even at sea there is fighting
Flesh and fish enmesh with ocean
Soldiers with a lance will lunge
At sea the lance is plunged

Ahoy

Rise up, rise up, seaman rise up
Each man thinks his way is wiser
One lance is thrust into man
The other into THE CHICKEN OF THE SEA

Hello? Paging Jessica Simpson. I need a beer...

[discuss]

LILT: Küss Mich (Fellfrosch) 3.0

She tries not to move
Being fingered is her groove
Swelled up in the lifeless grass
Her moistened eye is ... awash

She's always been locked away
Never seeing the light of day
Shuddering as she pleads
That his tongue will still her need

Kiss me

She repays each lick with a bite
Being licked is what she likes
But she has a bitter flavour
So it's rare that she's ... savoured

She's always been locked away
Never seeing the light of day
Shuddering as she pleads
That his tongue will still her need

Kiss me

His tongue comes down to C
Whipping her to ecstasy
Hard strokes that ripple out
Mastering her dripping ... snout

She's always been locked away
Never seeing the light of day
Shuddering as she pleads
That his tongue will still her need

Kiss me
On my moistened lips
Kiss me
With their bitter taste

Promoted.

[Lyrics][discuss]

LILT: Zerstören 3.0

I look after my own turf
But break down yours to rock and dirt
Consuming, entombing
Defacing, and wasting
From inside me a great greed sings
I feel the need to manage things
I'm the destroyer
Just so long as it's not mine
I'm the destroyer
Just so long as it's not mine

Mine!

I want to break all that you've built
I tear it down and don't feel guilt
I'm stripping, and ripping
I'm spitting, and kicking
My discipline ought to impress
I aim to cause that much distress
I'm wrecking, dissecting, rejecting
Destroying
Just so long as it's not mine
I'm the destroyer
Just so long as it's not mine

Mine!

All this drive is inside me
I am on a wrecking spree
In me there is a better side
but he's along for the ride
I'm the destroyer
Just so long as it's not mine
I'm the destroyer
Just so long as it's not mine

Mine!

I'm ripping, and stripping
I'm taking, and breaking
I'm tearing, and searing
I'm wrecking, dissecting
I'm crashing, and smashing
And rending, and bending
Defacing, and wasting
I'm kicking, and spitting

Er traf ein Mädchen, das war blind
Geteiltes Leid und gleichgesinnt
Sah einen Stern vom Himmel gehen
Und wünschte sich sie könnte sehn

Sie hat die Augen aufgemacht
Verließ ihn noch zur selben Nacht


There's a lack of rhyme in the chorus, but a fuck-tonne of reason, and I've been mulling this over for weeks and weeks with nothing to add, apart from changing 'ruin' to 'manage' in verse one. I'm putting this one on the possibly finished shelf now too.

Sometimes I wonder if I've held this one back for so long because I like listening to Till fake an orgasm over and over...

[lyrics][discuss]

LILT: Mann Gegen Mann 3.1

Destiny gave me a lift
And sent me a loving gift
My gay abandon lets me fly
Close to skin, and far from eye
I take my own fate in my hands
My sensuality is manned

Where fresh water meets its fate
Because it self-salinates
The Little Prince is in my thoughts
A king with no queen in his court
When women bark up the wrong tree
Their bright world is all at sea

Man against man
My skin is for men forever
Man against man
Like and like will come together
Man against man
Two masters hold my tether
Man against man
Like and like will come together

I am well off the beaten track
I am every hidden crack
No member lacks in my cabal
When lust is hard on my tail
My kin say to them I'm dead
I am every father's dread

Man against man
My skin is for men forever
Man against man
Like and like will come together

Man against man
But some days my heart will freeze
Man against man
There the cold tongues will beat

Gay ah!

Balance is no concern of mine
In my face the sun does shine
But some days my heart will freeze
There the cold tongues will beat

Gay ah!
Man and gay man

[lyrics][discuss]

Regarding Mann Gegen Mann

I had more fun with Mann Gegen Mann than with any other LILT, and I'm taking into account the laughs I got from Küss Mich (Fellfrosch) and Moskau when I say that. MGM is the most sympathetic commentary on homosexuality I've ever come across in music or poetry. It's also funny and clever. The word-play is absolutely wonderful, and luckily for me translated to English really well, for the most part.

I was also able to add a few tricks of my own. One of the tidiest is 'like and like will come together', which struck me as an improvement on the German as transcribed by Jeremy ('Gleich und Gleich gesellt sich gern' -> 'Birds of a feather flock together'). I'm not sure what the word for 'orgasm' is in German, and am almost afraid to try and find out, but odds are not good for it being the same as their word for come. I found the same with 'two masters hold my tether', as tether is a fairly obvious euphemism that doesn't wander too far from Till's words. I also flatter myself that with 'when lust is hard on my tail' I may have outdone Till's 'wenn die Lust von hinten zieht' ('when lust pulls from behind', as per Jeremy). Maybe I go too far...

Mann Gegen Mann is not my favourite song. Don't get me wrong; I do like it. It's just not included in my top five. I have to say that it's definitely my favourite LILT though, and I've separated it from the rest to show this.

Once I had started work on it I couldn't stop, and as a result got it to a stage where I felt incredibly satisfied with it very quickly. I also laughed out loud and grinned a lot during this process. Thank you, Till. You're a treasure.*

* Note: I am pretending that there's a possibility he might read this. Humour me. I have read online that he's a bit of a Luddite and I don't know how true that is, but either way I expect no such thing.

[discuss]

LILT: Du Hast 1.2

You
You have
You have me
You have me today
You have me today but I might not stay

Do you vow, till death do you part
To be faithful with all your heart

No

Do you vow, when her you do part
To love her when things get too hard

No

[lyrics][discuss]

I still like the bastardisation from 1.1, so I'm just working on that further. I feel no real imperative to go in the precise direction of Till's words. Just so long as the implications are similar I think it works.

Humour

I just found a really old Swedish interview (in English) on You Tube, with Schneider and Till. You can watch the really stunningly bad quality (totals around 30 minutes) here:

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

Aside from the nasty compression this interview strikes me as being a really good example of what happens when someone who is utterly devoid of humour encounters someone with a healthy sense of the ridiculous. The interviewer is absolutely lacking a funny-bone, and misses points, doesn't get jokes, and swallows Till's 'reptile sushi' crap without batting an eyelid. He also laughs at completely inappropriate moments, like the doctor in The Simpsons. It's almost embarrassing to watch.

The reason I'm remarking this is Rammstein has a mischievous streak a mile wide. This band is definitely not taking itself terribly seriously. There's also stuff like this out there, yet Germans have a reputation for being humourless. I'm wondering where that comes from, because it would seem to me to be an urban myth. Maybe all the fun Germans were behind the wall...

[discuss]

LILT: Küss Mich (Fellfrosch) 1.0

If you don't know what the furry frog is I'll let you work her out by yourself for a moment...




Needless to say I've had fun with this one. What girl wouldn't?

She tries not to move
Being fingered is her groove
Swelled up in the lifeless grass
Her moistened eye is ... awash

She's always been locked away
Never seeing the light of day
Shuddering as she pleads
That his tongue will still her need

Kiss me

She repays each lick with a bite
Being licked is what she likes
But she has a bitter flavour
So it's rare that she's ... savoured

She's always been locked away
Never seeing the light of day
Shuddering as she pleads
That his tongue will still her need

Kiss me

His tongue comes down to C
Whipping her to ecstasy
Hard strokes that ripple out
Mastering her dripping ... snout

She's always been locked away
Never seeing the light of day
Shuddering as she pleads
That his tongue will still her need

Kiss me
On my moistened lips
Kiss me
With their bitter taste

[Lyrics][discuss]

If you're wondering about the ellipses before the last words of the verses they're there to show where the pregnant pauses should be.

LILT: Du Hast 1.1

I've revised Du Hast's opening lines, but think it might change the meaning too far. It does work, thematically, but the purists won't like it:

You
You have
You have me
You have me today
You have me today but I will not stay

Do you vow, till death do you part
To be faithful with all your heart

No

Do you vow, when her you do part
To love her when things get too hard

No

[lyrics][discuss]

I'm not sure whether I can keep it like this.

LILT: Du Hast 1.0

I went with the impulse to write better English lyrics for Du Hast. Naturally the word-play in the original German can't carry over, but I did manage to get one trick of my own in there, even if it is a tragically basic:

You
You have
You have me
You have me at bay
You have me at bay but I will not say

Do you vow, till death do you part
To be faithful with all your heart

No

Do you vow, when her you do part
To love her when things get too hard

No

[lyrics][discuss]

Not Worth Reading

I am not into kink. Nor am I a sado-masochist. Nor am I personally acquainted with the sexual proclivities of Till Lindemann, or anyone else in the band. Their preferences and mine are not really relevant here.

I think I have a fairly healthy attitude to sex. This enables me to sympathise with people who favour sexual antics that I don't partake of myself, without judgement. I don't consider myself the be-all and end-all, so I'm aware that people get off on subject matter and situations that I don't find stimulating, and there's nothing wrong with that. I am simply able to use my imagination to render imagery that conveys certain messages.

Obviously there are lines I draw in the sand and choose not to cross. There has to be a limit somewhere, or we find ourselves in the antisocial or pathological areas where things just aren't 'right' by the standards we live with. Between consenting adults I think there is virtually no limit though. Sex is a very personal thing, and if you're an exhibitionist it's also very public (ha ha ha).

Anyone reading or listening to Rammstein's work, or mine, has to understand that poetic work does not necessarily represent the values or habits of those involved in its creation.

Realise that these lyrics do not make me or the band shitheads, even if you don't like the messages in the work, be they explicit or imagined. Suspend your disbelief to appreciate what the words convey, but don't take it so seriously that you start labelling the composers, or the adaptor in my case. You don't know me, and neither you or I know Rammstein. The message is not personal.

I'm posting this somewhat disclaimer-like piece because I am aware that fans of the more rabid type can easily feel they have a level of intimacy with and knowledge about their idols that simply doesn't exist in reality. That's an artifact of information-gathering. If you spend enough time and energy accumulating knowledge, be it real or fictional, about a public figure you begin to feel you have a relationship with the subject. This is NOT REAL. Don't project or assume where there are no grounds to do so.

I hope you, my small and hopefully growing readership, enjoy what I'm doing here, and that my work becomes more and more worthy of your attention. I also hope you will realise that tongue is firmly planted in cheek (no, not that cheek), and that this is entertainment, rather than a grand declaration of intent or fact.

Enjoy.

[discuss]

Update 1613hrs: Fuck, what a load of wordy crap that was. It's all true, but did I need to post that completely bloated cluster-fuck of explanation? No. Eh, who cares? Updated the post title to indicate pointlessness of this post.

First: Rein Raus

I've bought two of the Rammstein concert DVDs, and I've noticed a definite set of roles these guys adopt in their live shows.

Till very quickly establishes himself as the sinister central character. It's all about domination and humour. He's scary as hell, and very brutal, but is also comical and appealing.

Richard and Paul are his henchman. They're equally wicked and fun, and are as prone to debauchery, but also let him take the lead. They work as a team.

Ollie is somehow untouchable. He's remote and relatively contained, and is like a sentinel watching the central three. He's still part of what they're doing though. He's still a bit sinister.

Schneider is completely different. While the four described already all seem couched in violence the drummer is almost angelic in comparison to them. He's more of a guardian, watching over the warriors. He's calling the beat, but not raising a weapon if you like. He's got clean hands.

Then there's Flake. He's wonderful, because he's the only band member representing natural prey for the others. Don't get me wrong, he's no pussy, but he's very definitely some kind of indomitable prey animal, like a rabbit buck. They may be food, but they can also explode into violence if they need to. Flake attracts all Till's displays of brutality, but shakes them off. He's no loser and no weakling.

The only thing missing is the passive soul. I don't suggest the band take on another member merely to round out their character-set, but I reckon the next stage show should include a woman. A silent, passive, blank woman, as a prop for Till's antics, and a pale, sympathetic foil to his vividly rendered dark demon. It's this woman that my ideas have centred around so far. I've had a lot of them. She's developed into quite an amazing piece of stage equipment!

Anyway, back on-topic, I've started work on my first draft of the Rein Raus poem/lyrics in English. I'll post it when I've completed the draft. All I'll say for now is I've kept the 'rein, raus' refrain in German, as the English 'in, out' lacks the symmetry and flow of the German, and quite frankly sounds dumb.

I'll post more as it comes to hand/mind.

[discuss]