Serious Disappointment

Bloody whinging poms. They should be grateful for every match and every sparkler:

As the show went on, the group’s usual pyrotechnics were scaled down significantly. At the end of their famous song “ich werde lieber ein loch in mein Kopf haben”, guitarist Paul Landers put his guitar down, walked to the edge of the stage, and proceeded to light some Swan Vesta matches one after the other, placing them carefully on a saucer to ensure that the fire didn’t spread..

“At least they were extra large,” he told reporters afterwards. “Management wanted us to cut down from Swan Vesta matches to those really tiny ones that just fall apart the minute you strike them. I mean – it’s a far cry from the days where I wore exploding pants and had to have my groin operated on after every gig – but Health & Safety regulations count for something too, you know. So we’re being practical, we’re being safe, and we’re saving money.”