2009-10-18

What is this 'Liebe' of which you speak?

I originally fell in love with Rammstein in 2000. In the last few days I've fallen in love with the band all over again and harder than ever. They've managed to demonstrate in the most emotive and explosive way that old dogs can learn new tricks...and turn me on my ear. I now know for a fact, even without my pre-order having shipped yet, that I will soon take delivery of the best album ever to grace my collection.

You see, I took advantage of the recent stream of LIFAD on The Gauntlet to really take it in. The regular reloading of the page, the almost feverish listening I did, along with the frantic note-taking felt a bit sordid, obsessive, and closeted. It was actually a rather a surreal experience. I was also unwell, so I had a genuine fever, light-headedness, and a feeling of mild disassociation as I closed my eyes and climbed inside an envelope of sound of Rammstein's making.

That impression did not fade over the hours I was on the stream page. There were long periods where I just started the stream, listened, restarted it, listened, and then went into a spasm of writing, and I did, for a period, feel as though I lived and breathed inside my head, but not outside it. The cycle through all eleven tracks took me across a rainbow of sensations, images, emotions, and moods. I went through it a number of times, and it was incredible.

These men don't know I exist, and certainly I don't expect them to give a flying fuck what I think, but they are responsible for a lot of fucked up thoughts and feelings in me. Not bad. Just unprecendented. Now, people who don't feel Rammstein music apparently don't experience this, or they'd be fans too, so I have no idea what divides us from them, but there's something very primal and visceral about fan reactions to this music.

Part of that response in me while I was feeding off The Gauntlet's Liebe page was a growing feeling that if I learned what the lyrics meant it would somehow corrupt the integrity of the waveforms of emotion buffeting me, and it would all turn to chaos. The initial impressions I have always had from Rammstein's music have come before comprehension of verbal meaning, and have been on a purely emotional level. It was strange how alarming I found the idea of learning to comprehend the words at that time. It almost panicked me. Very strange.

I've begun to learn German. I'm wondering if I shouldn't stop when I reach a certain level; at least until Rammstein disbands. Yes, that is weird, but I'm not alone in feeling that full comprehension somehow taints the purity of that initial, knee-jerk reaction to the music. There may be something to it. All I know is that the sound stands on its own, and delayed understanding is something I favour.

The whole idea of Liebe is that everyone, no matter what their inclination, can find love in some shape or form to suit them. For some the love others seek is a twisted, evil, and utterly corrupt thing, or otherwise somehow valueless, but lets face it, we all define our universe and if one names a thing that is power. Call it love if you will, and then I guess love is in some way yours.

I love this album and I love the band. There is love and then there is love. The love I feel for each is completely different, and both are different again from what I feel for people in my life, but they are each a sort of love after all. There is love here for everyone.

[discuss]

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